Friday, January 29, 2010

Day 39: Seeing the Truth

It's been 6 days since my last post. 6 days since the actions of another threatened to ruin my journey for good. Sounds crazy doesn't it?

I have always been the care taker. Attempting to take care of everyone problems and ignoring my own. I've come to believe the reason for this is not to be generous to others but in actuality to be sure I never have time to face myself.

The point of this journey has not just been to accomplish said goal(s) but to look deep inside myself and work on what causes my lack of follow through, thereby causing my lack of joy. It's time to see the truth. I have no control over others. I can only control my choices. Anything beyond that is pointless. My body, my life, my reactions. The end. Easier said than done.

On an up note: For the first time in my life I do not have hypertension! Still a little high but the doc says once I quit smoking it'll be normal. It's never, ever been close to normal. Amazing! My husband and I got prescriptions to help stop smoking. The down side is that they are so costly I haven't figured out how to pay for them. I've been giving serious thought to things I may be able to sell. Still thinking.

Time to pack it up and head to the gym. My training has been lax at best and I have some making up to do.

Today's Goal: Put the past behind me and move forward.
Tomorrow's Goal: Rinse and repeat.

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