Day 11: 2000 What?

I can hardly believe we're just a few hours away from 2010! I've been trying to follow through with lots of things since the 90's! Guess I gave away my age...

I'm eleven days into morphing my life into something I can be proud of! This weekend will be a true test. Expecting my in-laws tomorrow. We'll spend the weekend celebrating the holidays we missed spending together this year. The challange: To cook tasty, healthy food that others will enjoy and keep up my excercise while entertaining guests.

The trick I believe will be to stay resolute in my decision to follow through, keeping my eye on the prize! If I can stick to it this near the begining of my journey and not use company and holidays as an excuse I'll have already completed something I never have before.

Keep your fingers crossed. I know mine are!

Tomorrow's and the Weekend's Goal: Stick to it baby! It's gonna be worth it!

Day 10

Unexpected snow fell yesterday afternoon and into the night. First of the year. The trees that line the street in front of our home stood still, glistening in the light. Children from the condos across the way made snowmen and had a snowball fight. The snowmen are all that remain.

For the first time in many years I was able to enjoy the falling snow. That's one good thing about being unemployed. Funny how having a place you need takes away the simplest of pleasures.

Day 10. Parking lot full of snow and ice. I stayed in. Did some streches - after all that walking my muscles are really tight. Far from limber just the simplest movements become a workout. I really need to spend more time streching. It would be my luck to cause injury and give myself an excuse why I cannot follow through. No, more focus on the streches from here on out.

Tomorrow's Goal: Strech well in the morning then back to the grind. I actually missed it today!

Day 9: Back in the Saddle Again

I've come to realize something about change. It does not happen over night. It only comes as we invite it.

I cannot change yesterday or the day before. I can however change this moment and strive to change every moment that follows. We are as strong as we choose to be. Although we may get knocked down by life or even by our own doing, we have the ability to stand back up. To fight back.

Today I choose to fight back. Today I choose follow through. My ideas are only as good as their completion. My life as good as I make it.

Goal for Today: Learn to truely believe the above stated.

And P.S.: I got my two miles in this morning; fueled by egg white and a piece of dry wheat toast. Yay me!

Day 8

Skip please.

True to form I have allowed myself to get totally wrapped up in self loathing. Should not have posted 'Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted to Food'. It felt good to get it out last night, sure, but this morning it felt like crap. Being the blog novice that I am I don't even know how to delete it. So it stays. Oh well it's the truth isn't it?

Day 8. 1 day after bragging about how I have beat the odds of my follow through history I ended up not beating it after all. I did nothing today. Well, almost nothing. I did eat the following: Cookies (many), Pizza, Egg Nog, Grilled Cheese and tomato soup. It seems that by admitting my addiction I have forced a flare up so huge it could not be extinguished.

Now where do I go from here? Back to the idea girl from whom I wish so desprately to flea? Or do I pick myself up by my boot straps in the morning and follow through for once?

'Til then...

Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted to Food

It's time to lay the facts out in front of me. My name is Jody and I'm addicted to food. Sound like a joke? I don't believe it is. I believe I am truely a food addict. If I am going to continue with my efforts to be a stronger, healthier, happier me I am going to have to confront this demon.

I can go all day eating lean protien, veggies and low calorie, high fiber carbs. Fueling my body with the best Mother Nature has to offer. By the end of the day I want sugar. I want fat. I want all the tasty treats that have kept me above 200 my entire adult life. And I will consume it.

I want to throw it up. I want to get it out of my body by any means necessary. But I won't. I'll tell myself start fresh tomorrow. What will stop tomorrow from being a repeat of today? What exactly is it that I need to better myself?

This little blog of mine has helped tremendously with my follow through of excerise. Perhaps it's time to add eating habits to the table? To bring it all in front of me and force me to admit my sins? Force me to attack them head on while my readers watch?

Perhaps. Let's do it. Let's so this too who's really the boss.

Tomorrow's Goals: Do not posion my body. Continue with the exercise.

Day 7 - One Week Down!

Anyone who knows me knows my ideas last for about a week. For those who do not I think it's obvious by my being a self proclaimed idea girl, not a follow through girl that the previous mentioned would be the case. With that mind I would like to celebrate my one week's completion in becoming a follow through girl!

I marked this momentous day by completing 3 miles. The last of which was at a 9 to 11 incline. Instead of throwing in the towel I focused on my core. Pushing the strengh from my abdomen and buttocks right through to my legs. Keep perfect form and my pace steady. I feel fantastic!

One week ago today I sat here with my friend and openly discussed my desire to change. She has become a great inspiration to me, transforming into a follow through girl herself a few years ago. I was sinking deeper and deeper into depression, the chance of my changing slipping further and further away.

Seven days ago I decided to pick small daily goals that would help transform me as well. Today I am seven days closer to becoming the follow through girl I've always desired to be.

Today's Goal: Surpassed.
Tomorrow's Goal: Rinse and Repeat.

Day 6

It occurs to me that my little blog about becoming a follow through girl is made up entirely of weight related posts. Well that's because my weight has been the one thing I have not been able to follow through with my entire life. The longest running let down in my world. If I'm able to stick to this I believe I can stick to anything and nothing will stop me. A hurdle so big I cannot see the top.

Christmas is officially over. That excuse now out the window. I went 500 calories over my recommended caloric intake - and that's with the big exercise accomplishment figured in. Yikes! Just how poorly I've been treating my body on a daily basis is very appearent to me.

I must hate myself than origanally thought. Why else would I slather my organs in fat and show no respect for my body? Hmmm...this is definately going to take more than a calorie counter and treadmill to fix. This without a doubt is the cause of whatever it is that has never allowed me to be a follow through girl.

Goals for today: Get back on that treadmill and reflect on my barriers. Why are they there and what are they exactly???

Day 5 - Beginning to Turn Around

Christmas Day 2009, the day I did 3.3 miles and was able to walk above 4 miles an hour! Not for long periods of time, but I did it!

As I walked through the community on my way to gym this morning, I felt exceptionally alone. I could hear families in their homes celebrating joyously. People dressed up going to their cars. A man coming to pick his elderly mother, dressed in the classic Christmas sweatshirt painted with cardinals and snowy branches. No family to celebrate with for me this year. Nothing feels lonely quite like Christmas lonely.

On the upside: Not having a place to be or expecting anyone to show up meant I had plenty of time to work on myself this morning. Knowing full well holiday meals well surpass my recommended daily caloric intake I was prepared to push a little harder this morning. I doubled my usual calories burned, not only pushing the miles up but pushing my limits as well.

I went faster and at a steeper incline. About half way through I stopped to strech out a growing kink in my hamstring. Thought for a split second 'hmmm...maybe I should be done for today', filled up my water bottle and pushed on harder and stronger than before.

Could I be turning the first corner in my journey to becoming a follow through girl? I do hope so!

Goal for tomorrow: Work off tonight's rib steak!

Day 4

Lesson learned. It is never a good idea to begin your workout without first fueling your body. No, I am not a camel. This excess fat does not mean I can go longer than others without eating. It means if I try to my blood sugar will spin out of controll making me a dizzy, cranky bitch.

Alright so I did not stay out of the fudge yesterday. The season of sugary treats should be over soon, right? I need it to be! I would throw it out but the part of me that does not want to change will not allow it. "Joel might want it." "It cost a lot of money and you worked so hard on it." She says. Bullshit. I'm calling my own bullshit. I don't throw it out because I want to pretend like I don't want to eat it only so I can eat it later. There. I've outted myself.

I did put in my two miles this morning. Four days in a row! 8.25 miles walked so far this week. Three more days of this and then it's up to three miles. Will I be ready?

Tomorrow's Goal: Get rid of the attitude problem and continue on!

Day 3

Getting to the point of leaving the house remarkably more difficult. All that prevents me from follow through rearing it's ugly head. On the other hand I'm excited to report doing the work feels increasingly better.

Two miles today in 25.6 minutes. Even more of an incline than the last two times. I even added an extra quarter mile for the hell of it! Next week's goal is to add an additional mile and work the incline and speed up as the week moves along.

Goal for the rest of the day: stay out of the fudge!
Goal for tomorrow: Keep up the good work!

Day Two

My eyes opened at 5:30 and I got out of bed - here's the good part: I stayed out of bed! A piece of dry wheat toast with some hardboiled egg whites mixed with a little brown mustard provided me with the energy needed to move on! Oh and coffee. God bless coffee.

Day two offers a unique experience in trying something new. It is on day two that the hype of the accomplishment from day one still presnts itself and yet the temptation to remain satisfied with one day's worth of a job well done begins to move in. On day two it becomes even more important to accomplish your goal. If not you may just forget it forever.

So after breakfast and a few cups of the nector of the Gods I put on my sweat pants -which have become a wardrobe staple out laziness and self loathing - tied my shoes tight and headed out the door.

Day two, two miles walked. Again up hill and just under four miles an hour. This time was more difficult. Muscles not wanting to participate in my endeaver but I did it. And I will again.

Tomorrow's Goal: Pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again...

Following Through with Change: Day 1, Part Duex

Okay, so goal for today: get on the treadmill.

Not only has this goal been accomplished but at a much higher sucess rate than I had thought. I haven't been on a treadmill in about 8 months. 2 miles, with varying inclines and at just under 4 miles an hour. Not too shabby for a thirty something overweight smoker!

Tomorrow's Goal: Rinse and Repeat!

Following Through With Change: Day 1

Well the first step has been completed, I'm awake. Coffee in hand I search for an appreate goal to achieve (step two). Hmmm...it may be more difficult than orginally thought. It was my intention to have one already - something that came to me in the night? That way I could immediately publish it therefore be accountable for it. No goal to put to paper. Following Through With Change: Day 1 needs a part duex.

Change Without Follow Throught?

I'm an idea girl. I am not a follow through girl. Hundreds of great ideas with the best intentions have swirled through this head of mine, most of them brillant, none of them seen through to the end. This is the characteristic I find most unappealing about myself. This is what I desire most to change. Of course it may be tricky considering changing poor behavior is a great idea with the best intentions and once again I have no follow through.

Step one: Wake up tomorrow with a goal in mind.
Step two: Achieve said goal.
Step three: Rinse and Repeat.

45 Seconds Should Do the Trick!

"45 seconds should do the trick!" My first thought this morning as I put cold coffee into the microwave. How did it come to be that that is the most remarkable thought of the day so far? Not too long ago I was up at 3 a.m. daily running through a mental calander of tasks and potential conversation before my feet ever hit the floor. I was up before the coffee was cold, before most households in the neighborhood even had coffee. Too much to do, too much to say to sleep in.

Since the move this is what it comes down to: Get out of bed late. Heat up the coffee. Scan the internet for jobs that don't exisist. Make sure the place is tidy and the dinners been preped before my husband comes home. Sometimes I throw in a little feeling sorry for myself just to spice things up.

Now I've been introduced to blogging. A friend of mine thinks it would be a good addition to the above listed. She says she's heard I've got a lot of good stories to tell. Well I did. Now I don't. I thought I may use this blog as a reason to explore my surroundings. Venture out at least once a day and choose my subjects from the new community. Perhaps tomorrow I can come up with a better thought than, "45 seconds should do the trick".

First of the Firsts

Ah, a voice! Forever locked in cyberspace. Something to be dug up and thrown in my face once the fame comes. Hmm...better be careful!

This will be the first blog typed by my hands. Likely not the last. So stay tuned - this may (or may not) get interesting!